Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

Action, whenever the heck immediately post-Johnny memory was

[pointofhonoria]

If you'd asked Crabb when she found herself in Johnny's past how the evening would end, even the wildest reaches of her imagination would not have chosen 'ending up in Johnny's bed'. But that's what happens. And when it unravels and Crabb finds herself back on the boat, the rush of it all has faded enough for the distant worry about the consequences to stop being so distant.

Holy Mother of God she actually—

Her first call is not Johnny. Maybe it should be but she's embarrassed and panicking and she can't even text him first to figure out where he is, so what happens instead is she marches right back to where she knows Erin was before she ended up going through that crack.

She looks flustered as all Hell.

Re: Action, whenever the heck immediately post-Johnny memory was

[crushed_pearls]

"...Love?"

Crabb is clearly distressed but it's a familiar kind of -

"OH MY GOD HONORIA DID YOU HAVE A DATE?"

Just.

Out loud.

Right here in Tauva.

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb immediately starts waving her hands and shushing, as she comes over to Erin properly, colour in her face darkening another shade as she. "Jeezus Christ not so loud—! I didn't— that ain't exactly—"

She slumps into a seat and buries her face in her hands with a dramatic groan. "Aw, Hell..."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin slides her half finished whiskey over to Crabb and gently lays a hand on hers. "Love, you look like you do when I'm bullying you into losing your clothes," she murmurs gently. "What's up?"

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb throws back half of what's left in the glass in one swig, without hesitation. It takes her longer to figure out a response, mouth opening and closing a few times before she makes a noise in the back of her throat and sighs.

"...so I ended up in one 'a Johnny's memories..."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin steeples her fingers together. "Honoria. Did you make Johnny see the face of God?"

[pointofhonoria]

"What kinda way of puttin' it is that?!" Crabb all but squeaks, gesticulating wildly. The colour has no lessened at all. She huffs and crosses her arms, only to uncross one to rub at her neck a second later. "Look I turned up in the Blue Horseshoe back when he was just gettin' started and we talked all normal like at first but then he went and started flirting and— hhhh."

[crushed_pearls]

"Love what level of time travel ethics is sleeping with your married friend in his past??"

[pointofhonoria]

"I don't know! Why'd'you think I'm bleedin' freaking out so much!"

A beat.

"—besides just about everythin' about me and ending up sleeping with anyone but you in the first place, I s'pose. Hh." She pinches the bridge of her nose and breathes. "I dunno. I dunno! I got all swept up and let worryin' about that slip into the background."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin moves her hand to squeeze Crabb's shoulder. "I warned you that you were hot and you didn't believe me. Call me Cassandra of Troy with the way that just bit you in the ass."

Beat.

"...Did he make you see the face of God?"

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb gives her the Look to end all Looks, but the flush deepens and spreads and that no doubt says more than any attempt at fumbling through a direct answer would manage. Johnny knew what he was doing, alright?

"L-Look it ain't like—" She grunts, lowers her hand and starts over: "He did say I was— was attractive, once, back when I was freakin' out about you but it ain't like I expected that to matter any! We ain't like that, which I realise sounds bleedin' ridiculous outta the mouth that was kissing him not long ago but— Christ..."

[crushed_pearls]

"You're not like that now that you know him and he knows you." Erin orders two more glasses of whiskey and gets out a cigar, which she cuts carefully. "Your vibes just aren't like that now. But you know, circumstances change that. Like, Helena? Adorable. Glorious. Attractive. I have no interest, our relationship just doesn't feel right like that...but if I'd met her at, say, twenty? The thirst and yearning might just have made me forswear being a career villain."

She lights up as the whiskey arrives. "You met Johnny as an established man he spent a lot of time becoming. Of course the young man is different."

[pointofhonoria]

"Sure, yeah, he was different. Still figurin' himself out some maybe and our shared bloody demon hadn't got at him yet but— bit more complicated than that when I know him already, ain't it?" She sighs, grabbing one of the glasses to take a swig. "If he was a total stranger to me I woulda shut him down. I think. But I already trusted him, y'know, even if it weren't the him I know. And I-I dunno what to do with that or what he's gonna make of it or—"

She gestures vaguely.

[crushed_pearls]

"You can't undo what's done now," Erin says. "So you might as well face the music. Let me tell him you're here once you calm down a little, yeah?"

[pointofhonoria]

"Christ I am not havin' that talk out in the middle of Tauva, this is already pushin' it. Y'can tell him when I'm calmed down but this is happenin' behind some kinda closed door."

She sinks down in her chair, rubbing her thumb's knuckle against the crease in her brow. "Just hope I ain't screwed everything up. He's— still important to me, y'know. I dunno."

She just hasn't got a Goddamn clue how to articulate the specific way he's become such an important part of her life.

[crushed_pearls]

Erin takes a soft sip of her whiskey. "Tell me about it," she offers in a soft voice. "Can't hurt to articulate it now before you've gotta have the big talk, yeah?"

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb makes a low noise, taking a long, slow drink from her glass as her brow furrows ever deeper. "Christ, I dunno. We weren't ever all that close at home, y'know; we were friendly, sure, and I respected him a Hell of a lot, and we always knew the Note was this— this shadow over us both, but we didn't spend a lot of time together or nothin'."

They were friends, they were League, and Johnny honestly did a lot for her between letting them live out of the Margrave, his help with her wardrobe change and more, but it was a whole other context.

"But then we both ended up here and it's— it's different, y'know? We don't just talk more we see each other different, know each other better—understand better, I guess? Don't think I really realised just how much until I got back in November. We just— stopped usin' surnames, at some point, and I called him when I needed someone to sleep by me, and..."

She groans again. "Christ I ain't half rambling."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin says nothing, but she's looking right at her girlfriend with the most adoring expression.

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb squints over at her, gesturing in her direction with the hand holding her glass. "Now what's that look for?"

[crushed_pearls]

"Just basking in you having a deep insight into people and their relationships when you keep insisting you're bad at it," Erin murmurs, a bit dreamily. "Keep going ."

[pointofhonoria]

"Oh, shuddup," she says without any actual force behind it, grumbling for the sake of grumbling. She takes another swig from her glass and wipes her mouth on her hand, letting out a breath. "I trust him. With just about everything. When somethin' happens he's right up there with you in my first thoughts, whether 'cause I'm worryin' about him or 'cause I need to talk to him or... whatever. But it ain't the same way. I do—"

Another breath, then, quieter: "I do love him, but not like that, y'know?"

[crushed_pearls]

"So tell him that," Erin says softly. She trickles smoke out her nose. "...And while we're on this anyway you good for me to say something I've been trying to get through to you but like, the rude version?"

[pointofhonoria]

"Y'say that like I find all this mushy feelings stuff simple," she says, even if she knows Erin's got the right idea—so at least when she rolls her eyes just a little, it's mostly at herself. She takes another swig from her glass before she answers the question, though. "...fine, hit me."

[crushed_pearls]

"Kay." Erin turns to face Crabb fully, and takes her cigar out of her mouth. "Your 'I'm not attractive, only you will ever want me' routine has started to become an insult to my taste, love. I didn't have prophetic knowledge of how amazing you are when I met you at the gym. I'm not immune to handsome lasses! I freely engage in the hypocrisy of wanting people because they're hot, I just have enough respect for myself to get to know them first. So, either I'm delusional or you're attractive. Pick one."

[pointofhonoria]

"...Christ, you weren't kidding." 'The rude version' is right, but, well, she did tell her to go for it. She finishes the glass off, sets it down, and rubs at her face with her freed hand. "That ain't fair, petal. It ain't— hhhh."

It doesn't feel that simple. It's not that a part of her hasn't been trying to let herself accept this, and maybe she will be a step closer after all this, but it's... complicated. It feels complicated, at least, where maybe it shouldn't.