crushed_pearls

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

pointofhonoria

"Oh, shuddup," she says without any actual force behind it, grumbling for the sake of grumbling. She takes another swig from her glass and wipes her mouth on her hand, letting out a breath. "I trust him. With just about everything. When somethin' happens he's right up there with you in my first thoughts, whether 'cause I'm worryin' about him or 'cause I need to talk to him or... whatever. But it ain't the same way. I do—"

Another breath, then, quieter: "I do love him, but not like that, y'know?"

From:

crushed_pearls

"So tell him that," Erin says softly. She trickles smoke out her nose. "...And while we're on this anyway you good for me to say something I've been trying to get through to you but like, the rude version?"

From:

pointofhonoria

"Y'say that like I find all this mushy feelings stuff simple," she says, even if she knows Erin's got the right idea—so at least when she rolls her eyes just a little, it's mostly at herself. She takes another swig from her glass before she answers the question, though. "...fine, hit me."

From:

crushed_pearls

"Kay." Erin turns to face Crabb fully, and takes her cigar out of her mouth. "Your 'I'm not attractive, only you will ever want me' routine has started to become an insult to my taste, love. I didn't have prophetic knowledge of how amazing you are when I met you at the gym. I'm not immune to handsome lasses! I freely engage in the hypocrisy of wanting people because they're hot, I just have enough respect for myself to get to know them first. So, either I'm delusional or you're attractive. Pick one."

From:

pointofhonoria

"...Christ, you weren't kidding." 'The rude version' is right, but, well, she did tell her to go for it. She finishes the glass off, sets it down, and rubs at her face with her freed hand. "That ain't fair, petal. It ain't— hhhh."

It doesn't feel that simple. It's not that a part of her hasn't been trying to let herself accept this, and maybe she will be a step closer after all this, but it's... complicated. It feels complicated, at least, where maybe it shouldn't.

From:

crushed_pearls

"Nuh-uh, Big J the C promised you eternal life, not a fair one. I wanna hear it out your mouth - which is it?"

From:

pointofhonoria

"Erin c'mon. Sayin' it isn't gonna make it feel any more true just like that. I know it ain't just you, 'specially after last night," which was technically also today, wow memory time disparity is weird... "arrite? Just— ugh."

She sinks more in her chair, hands both over her face now.

From:

crushed_pearls

"Of course it won't," Erin murmurs, her tone gentling. "But y'all are always on me for not being my own friend. You open your mouth to put yourself down so easily. Open it to build yourself up. Be your own friend, my fierce flower."

From:

pointofhonoria

There's an aborted sound as she goes to say something and stops herself. It should be easier than this, by now; it's been nearly three years now since she last spent all her time around people who made her feel small, sometimes it's genuinely frustrating that she can't seem to shake it.

"...fine. You ain't delusional." It's still dodging saying the words, but it's... a start.

From:

crushed_pearls

This is where Erin would give Crabb a long stare, IF SHE HAD -

Actually.

(Fuck it.)

Erin's Mantle pops and sparks, and she lowers her blindfold to stare at Crabb with big owl eyes.

From:

pointofhonoria

It's so sudden it provokes a burst of startled laughter out of Crabb. She pushes herself up a little straighter from where she's slumping and just... blinks at Erin. "Erin what in God's name—"

From:

crushed_pearls

"Well that's not the reaction I wanted out of this meaningful glare," Erin says with Exaggerated Huffiness. "Is there something not serious about my large and loving owl eyes?"

Her pupils dilate hugely.

From:

pointofhonoria

Crabb snorts and covers her mouth for a second, but amidst the surprised amusement she does sound terribly fond. "You expected me not to be surprised by you suddenly puttin' on bleedin' owl eyes just to give me a look?!"

From:

crushed_pearls

"Who would be? Who? Hoo? Hoo?"

From:

pointofhonoria

"Erin!" She actually almost chokes on the next burst of laughter, body trying to fold in on itself whilst still being slumped down like she is. She covers her face, shoulders shaking.

From:

crushed_pearls

"This stops when you finish the thought you started there out loud, love," Erin promises/warns/threatens.

From:

pointofhonoria

"You're a cruel mistress, you are. Arrite, arrite, God—" She groans and forces herself to sit more upright again. "You— you ain't delusional, so I must—" sighs, "—I must be attractive."

And now she's sinking in her chair again. Even lower than before..

From:

crushed_pearls

Erin scoots her chair in closer and gently presses her forehead to Crabb's. Her wings fold in to shield her lover from the eyes of the world. "Yeah, you are," Erin murmurs. "My fierce and glorious flower. You've gotta live with yourself every single day and it breaks my heart that you seem to make that unlivable. Be nice to you, yeah?"

From:

pointofhonoria

Crabb presses her forehead back against Erin's, nuzzling their noses gently and letting out a slow breath. "M'trying. Things are just—a mess."

Lately more than ever. She's keeping a brave face on about the cracks but there's still a part of her blaming herself for the fact the world seems to be falling apart.

From:

crushed_pearls

"They'll always be a mess, my love. That's life." Erin tilts her head up to kiss Crabb's forehead and just holds her softly. "...I know I can't keep you here forever right now but when it's all done for the day I'ma fuckin' cuddle you so god damn hard."