Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

[qliphoths]

" No one ever does. "

her world had been painfully similar to erin's: one where your fate had been pre-written,
pre-determined, where you simply had to fulfill what you were told. such would lead humanity
to unprecedented prosperity -- supposedly. but much like erin herself, the world was
simply not just black and white. there were so many shades of gray, so many variables and
stipulations that people had to wrestle with and stumble through.
it was just new territory to have to discover that, to pave your own path.

erin was reminding her so very much of luke, right now.


it feels like almost a lifetime ago that she was having a similar conversation, talking about
atonement after the fall of an entire city, atop corpses and rubble.

" There will be many times where you keep getting things wrong. No one is perfect, and an entirely
good person just doesn't exist. But the important thing is that you keep trying, and that you
keep moving forwards. "

whether it was to atone, or to live up to those expectations, tear knows that to be true.

" What person did she think you could be? "

[crushed_pearls]

"One like her, I think. Righteous. Heroic. Colors...she worked for bad people for awhile, who told her they were good people. But those sorts of deceptions never last long. Cruelty always outs itself."

"...I'm not going to tell the full story. You don't need that horror sitting on your soul, you've had horrors enough. But. I will ask if you still wanted to do some music tonight."

[qliphoths]

she stays silent, a protest dying before it ever makes it to her lips: she wants to hear
the rest of the story. she wants to hear more about erin and her homeland, and doesn't want for
the other woman to think less of her for her circumstances.

there was a kindness to erin's considerations of course, but tear doesn't see them as necessary.
shouldn't she be told because of her experiences? wouldn't that mean she can understand?

if she gave voice to these things, would that make her childish?

after a moment, tear breathes a sigh.

" I don't ... know if I really want to. "

she decides to go the honest route rather than to force herself, because she knows erin will be
able to tell if her heart isn't in it.

" If you want to play something, or sing, I can listen. But if not then I can just go back to my room."

maybe erin wanted privacy after such a tough topic?

[crushed_pearls]

"...I don't, but I don't want you to go either." Erin makes a frustrated sound, and turns her head to face Tear.

She can't cry properly, for she has no eyes, but the look on her face is all guilt and misery.

"...I wasn't trying to be deceptive. I just...the people I hurt, they're so far away now. I can't apologize to them, or be punished by them, or do anything for them. Here, though, here I can help. Liz will haunt me forever, but I didn't want her haunting everyone else. And now. Now she is."

[qliphoths]

she makes a quiet sound of affirmation, nodding knowingly. such a thing had been an issue for her, too:
in many ways it still is. there was so much left unfinished at home, so many endeavors and tasks to
continue. the people here were nice, but the unfinished business where they'd come from was a heavy
task to bare.

" You did what you had to do. "
is the first thing she thinks to say.

" People do horrible things all the time, if it means that they survive. Some might say the same of
me, too. "

she'd killed people, after all. how many soldiers had perished by her artes or her knives? how many
monsters and people were slain by her group? they'd all had lives, too. she's sure there's people
out there who may hate her for it, but such is life. unfortunately.

" I think it's more important that you're changing, and that you're trying. Does it really matter if
some people might not agree with that? "

By tradition I declare: damn OCs and their one-liners

[crushed_pearls]

"...It does if I want to belong here."

[qliphoths]

a part of her wants to ask: what does 'belong' even mean? on a ship like this,
where everyone has just been thrown together... the ultimate goal was to go back home,
or to survive. did she want to get along with everyone? wasn't that impossible?

she isn't sure if she wants to pressure erin with more questions though, or to ask for clarifications.

" I don't think belonging means you have to have the approval of everyone. Isn't it more important
to have your own approval most of all? "

[crushed_pearls]

"I do have to live with myself every day," Erin agrees. She flashes Tear a ghostly smile. "But...for a long time I wasn't part of a community. And here, I dunno. It's felt like I am again, and I don't want to lose that."