Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"...Mmm." Erin's ears twitch in Gil's direction. "The ship steals half my harvests. It's fucking annoying, but the nice thing about being a sleeping god is I have reserves to burn. Still." The chopsticks tap against her plate. "...I've mostly kept quiet about Glamour. A few people know, and associate with me, but in the main...those few people had difficulty understanding. One of 'em directly went 'oh hey I'm food then', which, ew, fuck that. You do you as far as that goes but it's been a long walk for even a little understanding."

[breakaleginhalf]

He frowns slightly.

"We're mana vampires. Not that hard." He's a nerd, he's got the vocab for it. "But no, I haven't actually told anyone. Wayne I'm kind of letting in on a bit - uh, you know that moon-head guy who came by near the end of the argument? Cool dude, non-human, be nice when he's confused - but I haven't Shown him yet."

By tradition I declare: damn OCs and their one-liners

[crushed_pearls]

"...You know I was kinda assuming I was having a Clarity moment there and I'm not sure that I prefer learning I wasn't."

[breakaleginhalf]

"Nah, man, give Wayne like, an hour and an open mind, he's like- the chillest motherfucker on the entire Barge." And he'll fucking swear by it. "Whatever the fuck he had going on back home, he's got the right vibes from it to hang with us. Just- be prepared to explain stuff that feels really basic sometimes, this is his first time encountering humans. An, like. Mammals as a general concept, I think."

[crushed_pearls]

"I dunno man, Phil is really chill. Are we gonna have to host some kind of chill tournament?" Erin visibly starts getting lost in her own joke. "...Actually how would you even...like...surely you can't just stick them in a room with something annoying and see who breaks first, that definitely seems like torture..."

[breakaleginhalf]

"Wouldn't work, they'd both befriend 'em. Or Wayne'd make it, like, an anthropological study." He waves a hand dismissively. "Anyway don't pit two bad bitches against each other, chill guys don't need contests. It's kinda the point."

[crushed_pearls]

"Speaking of bad bitches." Erin gestures at Gil with the chopsticks. "Obligate cannibal, is it? I've got good news. Might be tricky news, but good news."

[breakaleginhalf]

"Long pork a la carte?" He grimaces openly. "Yeah, I found some in the Windbreaker. Tiny club sandwich style. Unfortunately there's no such thing as ethical cannibalism."

[crushed_pearls]

"Oh I'm about to fuck you up my guy." Erin turns her head back with a broad grin. "I mentioned Siffleur to you before, the werecougar. He runs a game in the Tommy Bahama where volunteers try to elude or kill him in exchange for a prize, and he's quite okay with getting eaten about it. But if that's not your speed, he also regrows his limbs. Dude's been trying different recipes for his own meat since that showed up in the fuckin' mail, and he's quite willing to share."

Gil takes 1 clarity damage

[breakaleginhalf]

Gil just stares at her for a few seconds.

Then he pushes his small tower of plates away and buries his face in both hands. Which leaves his muzzle sticking out, but whatever he just wants to ignore the world for a minute.

"I hate that so much."

[crushed_pearls]

"Is it better or worse if I say he's easily in the top five chill dudes on this ship?"

[breakaleginhalf]

"I mean, I guess you've kinda gotta be if you're an autocannibal!"

Gil's voice has stayed remarkably even and flat like, the entire time he's been here and not flipping out; but here and now there's a lilt to his tone that suggests he is Not Okay.

"Just roll out the other side of Hannibal Lecter-hood and be a chill-ass motherfucker about it!"

[crushed_pearls]

"Gil, buddy, what is it you're objecting to here?" Erin's tone is soft and concerned. "...Yeah, he's a monster. And probably technically a serial killer. But we're all monsters here at this table, aren't we? And if we're not gonna look out for each other, who's gonna?"

[breakaleginhalf]

"Maybe I don't wanna fucking eat people, Erin!" The words come out as a snarl, his ears flicking back in an open distress only she can really appreciate. "Maybe I don't wanna make a fucking game out of the fact I am literally starving myself, constantly, because some guy who is somehow--" and his voice cracks there, into a bark of laughter that mangles the word. "--more fucked up than us, thinks it's okay! I don't wanna be in another fucking Durance where I have to suck up to another fucking Keeper who's apparently nice now because he's getting laid and kills us less like it's a fucking achievement!"

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's quiet for awhile after that one. She leans back in her chair and listens to all of it, and says nothing for long minutes.

In a soft voice: "You want the Spring bitch or a friend here, Gil? It's not like I'm without sympathy for your situation, but."

But.

[breakaleginhalf]

He can feel his heart thumping in his ears, shoved up there by the way his stomach's lodged in his throat and he can't decide whether to laugh or cry or just vomit, and his breaths feel thick and rough in his throat.

He's not hungry anymore. Which is a bald-faced lie because he's always hungry and there's no way to fix it without sending himself into a fucking self-destructive spiral. And yet he's still not hungry.

"The Spring bitch I fully expect to tell me to suck it up, princess, spare a thought for all the fuckers who haven't done a Durance before," he rumbles, folding his arms across his chest as he leans back in his chair. "You've got the home court advantage."

[crushed_pearls]

"...No. And if that's the state of Australia's Spring I'm heading there after we all escape to kick some asses concave. See if they can stop me." Erin sighs heavily and puts an elbow on the table, gesturing with that hand. "I'm not gonna argue about the Captain's nature other than to say you should meet the man himself before you write him off - keeping in mind that he hates me personally, so it ain't like I'm speaking from a deep well of affection here. But here's the long and short of it as I see it. You're not in a position to fix being an obligate cannibal right now, not without access to the Deep Hedge where the Wyrd curdles like milk and turns into something feral and unshackled from the nightmare lands. Even if you were, that's not a certainty of a solution. So you can either make yourself miserable on purpose, or have a small amount of comfort."

"...I'm not suggesting you talk to Siffleur because I see two inhuman things who ought to get on. I'm suggesting you talk to him because he's been a true and steady friend to me, and I think he'd be to you too. I'm deeply sorry about the sandpaper dildo that is currently your life but do you really gotta up the roughage?"

[breakaleginhalf]

"Because 'Meet Siffleur, he's running his homegrown Ikea Hunger Games, don't worry, it's totally voluntary, also he cuts off hunks of himself for fun and fucking profit' is a ringing fucking endorsement of friendship," he retorts flatly.

[crushed_pearls]

Erin presses her hands together as if praying for the strength to endure this conversation. "He's a difficult man to describe, Gil. I find it's best if people get their first impression from the cat himself instead of trying to stumble through it. He's..." There's a long trailing. "...He's at peace, with himself. It's a unique experience, being near that."

[breakaleginhalf]

He doesn't miss the mood behind that action, and his ears flick to a somewhat upset pose. At himself, not her, but still.

"Sure." His turn to rub his face with one hand again. "Look, I..."

He snorts, an annoyed huff as he tries to find the words. "Jesus Christ, I don't know. I thought I was okay with all of this bullshit, then this morning happened and I feel like I'm back on Day One. I'm not- handling this well. And it fucking sucks."

[crushed_pearls]

"This isn't the nightmare lands," Erin answers softly, setting her hands back on the table. "And trying to play by those rules is gonna be a losing game. The witch you chose to become hasn't been lost to you. I'm sorry for hurting you by so blithely trying to help. I know that can suck." Ask her what she did the first time someone said she's worthy of love and support, it'll be a riot. "...Not that it's an excuse, but I'm trying to be the Spring I ought to have been the whole time. It's still a new trick for me."

[breakaleginhalf]

"Yeah, I know." He eyes off the sushi trundling slowly past. "But still."

He looks down at his hands briefly. Still human enough, compared to the rest of him, but there isn't a single part of him that passably resembles his old self. "Obligate cannibal, sure. But I don't- want to. It's. A personal Rule. 'cos I'm... fuck it, sure, I'm scared. That if I get back on the humanitarian diet I won't know how to stop. The only thing I associate the taste with is There, and I don't want to give that any more of a foothold than it's already got."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Yeah, that's fair." Erin sighs again. "Siffleur will offer anyway, but he won't go Doctor Lecter about it. He's a bit of a soft hedonist, in love with the opportunity the ship affords him to be his genuine self. Say no and that'll be the end of it."

[breakaleginhalf]

He sighs, but even that comes out as a soft rumble.

"I appreciate the thought, babe, seriously," he says. "If this was literally anything else I could use the hand with, I'd be taking it with both. That one's the exception. Besides."

He finally reaches out to take a new plate of sushi. "Two years cold turkey. Hasn't killed me yet, and I prefer the devil I know."

[crushed_pearls]

"God damn dude. Congratulations." Erin resumes her own grazing; it feels to her like something has cleared in the air. "...You talk to the skeleton yet? I don't think he'll turn down someone with practice in magical thinking, and for my money he's probably our best shot at getting out alive."