Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"Triage, little bird. You've got a big heart, but no one's heart is big enough to bear up all alone." Erin sighs, fondly. "...Y'all are so good to me. 's like a dream."

[decrypter]

"Not a dream. Reality, and I'll keep reminding you of that if need be."

Some way, somehow. She makes the bunny tap Erin's hand, to punctuate the point.

"And I'm not the only one who would do so."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Today in mild crazy moments that are deeply funny, I spent a good four seconds there thinking this is how you were choosing to reveal that the rabbit is a passenger and we've just been passing them around like a toy the whole time."

(...I mean it's not the most unreasonable -)

I knowwwww.

[decrypter]

"If it was a passenger, I would have already let it sip from my drink. This is just a new friend."

A now very treasured friend, for all it is.

"Am I allowed to give you one more piece of advice?"

[crushed_pearls]

"I'm listening, little bird. Be a bit of a dick move to say no now anyway, but..." Sip. Sippity sip. "I didn't get this far without help."

[decrypter]

"When you wake, after the dreams...don't be in a rush to get out of bed. Find things you can say this is here with. For me, it's scents, sounds, little indicators I can have without even moving. That's how I know I'm here and not back there."

Sometimes it's the ever faint hum of the ship's machinery. Sometimes it's the scent of the soap everyone uses to wash their laundry. Sometimes it's how big the bed is, or the absence of the scent of dust that never leaves. Always, the presence in the room of someone else, saying she's not on her own.

[crushed_pearls]

"...I'll keep it in mind," Erin says with a soft fondness. "Now, my turn; you ever ask Ruby about a blade or gadget?"

[decrypter]

"Not yet. I...need to talk to you about something, about that."

It's a little difficult, still, to get this out, but she remembers what Dimitri said about it. A choice. The choice to not want to hurt others.

"...I don't want a weapon, Erin. Either given to me or made for me. I don't want to fight."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin nods, sagely.

Silence.

(Hey Peters, you think you might have missed a detail here?)

FUCK -

"Don't mind me I'm nodding soberly like a jackass. I did mean it when I said she might like to build a gadget or gizmo, though. Not gonna make promises for her, but..."

Erin reaches over and gently takes Helena's hand. "...My people don't dream of safety. Safety is not a realistic expectation for us. We dream of a world where some might be able to lay down their arms. Now...I'm dreaming a bit bigger these days, but you won't hear me say you have to fight. You'll only hear me ask if you understand what that means."

[decrypter]

"Intimately."

Enough people she knows, enough friends, enough loved ones, will never think the world is safe. It goes back to that talk on a peaceful life, that it is a skill, not an instinctive knowledge. Learned, not dreamed of just openly. And peace doesn't always mean you're safe.

"I don't expect the world to lay down arms if ever. I don't expect that I'll never get hurt again. But...I don't wish to add to that violence. All of the people I know who do fight, I admire your bravery and your strength. It's just...not for me."

[crushed_pearls]

"I'm ready to lift my blade so you don't have to, little bird, and more than ready, I'm willing. I'm sorry if I put pressure on you to make another choice."

[decrypter]

"You didn't. This was a choice I had to figure out how to voice on my own. To stop thinking it was irresponsible of me to feel averse to this, like I'm making someone else have to tend to my safety."

The key word there, making. Instead of it being their choice.

"I won't say never, because we don't know what the future has for us. But as much as I have control over, I know what I want to do with it."

[crushed_pearls]

"That's admirable, little bird. And thanks for being straightforward with me about it, I do appreciate it." Hopefully Helena will do the gadget thing, Ruby needs a steady friend right now and Helena will enjoy figuring out that Ruby can be slain with the stupidest -

"...So Helena d'ya remember the random clown noises at the wedding?"

[decrypter]

"...No? I was caught up in dancing. And speaking to people who may or may not have been the Captain, which I found out later. There was a lot going on at the time."

[crushed_pearls]

"My sister. Is highly vulnerable. To clown jokes. Do with this information what you will though I would prefer you use it for evil."

[decrypter]

"What do I do if I don't have any clown jokes?"

Genuine problems.

[crushed_pearls]

"Well you could run off and join the circus, or I could say that I suspect you'll be fine. Ruby likes my absurd style but like...genuinely you're hilarious, you'll be fine." Lil' nibble of the cinnamon roll. "I was passing along the clown jokes entirely so she could come back to me and ask why I'd give that power to another."

[decrypter]

"Because that's the right you have as her sister. To wield love and terror with fairness, equality, and sometimes in the same move."

[crushed_pearls]

"Exactly!" Erin chuckles to herself. "...Hey, thanks for, y'know, bringing the food and the coffee. I know it wasn't the biggest ask but like, thanks, still. Few things that don't involve active bodily harm suck more than guard duty with no food."

[decrypter]

"It's my pleasure. Let me know if you need any more, I don't mind delivering so long as you can tell me what you want. And oh!"

Reaching into her bag, she pulls out a second cinnamon roll, like the one she'd been carrying before.

"This is for Miss Daisy. Tell her it's from you. I doubt she's been eating decently."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Helena your compassion knows no bounds." Erin delicately takes the cinnamon roll; it'll get to Daisy. "Whenever you're done with like, dinner-dinner yourself, if you could bring a couple plates back of whatever as long as it ain't spicy. I've got the heat tolerance of dry paper and Daisy's, y'know, Welsh, so..."

[decrypter]

"You both could stand to try and work on that."

Said with all the confidence of the girl who took the extremely spicy wings at the carnival and pronounced them exceptional while lesser souls were hacking at the Scoville content. Get better, Erin.

"But fine, I will bring you something delicious without spice. You have my word."

[crushed_pearls]

(Does...does she...does she want...Daisy to be...less Welsh?)

...No?

(You don't sound sure.)

I DUNNO AND I AM NOT ASKING.

"I'll see you again then, little bird. I should probably get back to being tall and scary."