Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

[redlightgreenlight]

My roommate is out doing something nefarious with blood samples, so we can talk in my room.

You can bring the ring and whatever you prefer to drink. I won't be having any.

[It's easier if she doesn't have to know what Erin is feeling about their discussion.]

[crushed_pearls]

Do love some nefarious blood samples.

About fifteen minutes later Erin knocks on the door, wearing the ring. She has a bottle of sweet wine, some juice from Hurikane, and a pair of glasses; wouldn't do to show up with nothing for Valdis to drink. Her wings flutter, in worry, in nervousness. The invitation to ask couldn't be more clear, and yet...

It still feels a bit like she's intruded on something deeply private.

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis opens the door, completely calm.

"Come in. Palamedes won't be back for some time."

Being unable to read emotions, doesn't mean that she can't tell by the fluttering wings that Erin is nervous.

"If you are worried about intruding upon my past, don't. You and Max are likely the only people I'll ever trust with it."

If she ever finds it relevant to Max that is.

[crushed_pearls]

You don't need to be an empath, a mind reader, or even a psychologist to tell that Erin is touched by that statement; a faint color rises in her cheeks as she steps inside, taking extra care with her wings so she doesn't WHACK THEM ON THE FUCKING DOOR -

Anyway.

One glass on the desk with the juice, the other in Erin's hand. She pulls out the room's chair so she can't spill on someone's bed. "...I'm kinda wondering at the invitation, honestly. Like, don't get me wrong, I believe you when you say you want to share, it's just...I dunno. A lot to wrap my head around, especially all the way over here in 'raised vaguely Catholic, shopping around for Pagan faiths' land."

[redlightgreenlight]

There is indeed no need for empathy to know how Erin feels about being trusted. Valdis sits cross-legged on the bed after closing the door and making sure Erin is settled. She picks up the little black, stuffed dog Nobunaga gave her and just holds it for a moment before setting it down in her lap.

"I don't know anyone who could look at what happened and be completely alright with never knowing."

[crushed_pearls]

"Remembering that it's your world and not all worlds does help, some." Erin opens her wine, pours about half a glass, and sets the bottle down between her boots. Thus armed, her full attention goes to Valdis. "...Honestly I'm not even sure where to begin. I suppose, maybe...Eden? It seemed like we were seeing a fairly literal representation of your childhood but I don't want to assume."

[redlightgreenlight]

"That was an actual memory, no symbolism, right up until she spoke to me directly. I can't give you too many other details, because I simply do not remember anything else of her. But I can tell you what the Hounds knew of Eden."

Another squeeze of the small dog.

"Eden is, essentially, Heaven on Earth. It is where fledglings, young angels, are raised. The location is unknown, but I have to assume that either Amos or Fenrir did find it somehow."

[crushed_pearls]

"Fenrir...the destroyer wolf, if the names are related at all." Erin takes the smallest little sip of her wine, her attention on Valdis entirely. "What would this Amos or Fenrir have done with the place?"

[redlightgreenlight]

"I'm not quite sure. Fenrir chose our names. The other Hounds were Skoll, Hati, Geri, Freki and Garmr. Names taken from Norse myth. My name is not from the myths, but it is Norse."

But back to Eden.

"I can't think of anywhere else they could have gotten their hands on fledglings aside from Eden. But...some of this will definitely be conjecture."

[crushed_pearls]

Two of those names are not like the others but Erin is having trouble remembering which ones. She'd started doing research on the ancient faiths of the Aesir and Vanir due to, you see, having a giant fucking crush on a neopagan, and while she's pretty sure two of those are Odin's wolves, she can't remember which fucking two.

"I'll keep that in mind." And honestly the precise facts are less important than how they affect Valdis.

Geri and Freki are Odin's :)

[redlightgreenlight]

"I don't know if we influenced the myths, but it certainly would seem that way since we existed before the myths, but I really can't say how the humans came to know them. I am not mentioned in any of those myths."

But perhaps that is unimportant.

"Based on...the memory. It would only make sense that we were all fledglings of a similar age, but Fenrir was there before, because I remember him being there, I think. There was a flash of a face I know to be his from a time before I knew him."

If her sense of time is correct from the jumble of dreams and twisted memories.

"Any questions? It's difficult for me to know what is most important to you."

And it's a little painful to just tell the whole story as she thinks it happened.

Indeed, and Hati and Skoll will devour the sun and the moon

[crushed_pearls]

Erin seems indecisive for a moment. She sets her glass down, stands, and - not sure if the touch will be welcome, but needing to risk it - ever-so-gently brushes Valdis's hair back.

Her voice is a soft murmur: "How big a hit did you take back there, Valdis? I don't need to lick your Glamour out the air to see you ain't doin' hot with this."

[redlightgreenlight]

The touch isn't unwelcome, in fact, Valdis places her hand over Erin's and just leans her head into it.

"Emotionally or physically?"

[crushed_pearls]

"...Well, physically would be a new bonus concern." Erin smiles sadly; there's not enough joke in that joke. "I was asking how you're feeling, yeah."

What she had called Valdis in the heat of the moment hasn't escaped Erin, but that's a later problem.

[redlightgreenlight]

Instead of answering Erin's question, Valdis counters with one of her own.

"How would you break someone who can feel the emotions of others, Erin? What would be the best way to destroy their soul?"

[crushed_pearls]

"...Torture others." It's said in such a small voice, tinged with shame. That had been one of Liz's tricks.

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis hears the shame in Erin's voice and squeezes her hand. She knew that Erin would know exactly how, but she didn't mean to make it painful for her too.

"It's not my pain I remember," she replies, "It's theirs."

She lets that sit for a moment before continuing, "And then I felt nothing for thousands of years. I became a twisted and corrupted version of what I was supposed to be. I killed my father. I tried to kill my brother. And when all was said and done. I killed two of my own kind. Two souls who were also victims, and I destroyed them."

A normal person would probably be crying by now, but she can't. She's been sitting with all this for days and has taken moments to process. These are all simply facts she now has to live with and keep moving forward as she always has.

"I'm not alright. I feel guilty for being the only one who escaped. I'm worried the monster will come back. I'm furious with Amos for what he did. I am absolutely terrified of Fenrir showing up here. And I'm heartbroken for that little girl who never got the chance to live her life."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's face flickers through a series of emotions as she fights for self control.

When she loses that fight she hugs Valdis tight, wings bending as if to shield her from the world.

[redlightgreenlight]

Being in Erin's arms is so different from being in Max's. But both feel right somehow.

"I hope the me back home has someone like you to help guide her through all this." Valdis murmurs, hugging Erin back.

[crushed_pearls]

"You've guided me too," Erin whispers through the emotion that tightens her throat. "You've got me in your corner. Even if they come, if your whole world beats down the door, you've got me."

[redlightgreenlight]

Between Erin, Nobunaga and Yato, she has plenty of powerful people in her corner. She would tell each and every one of them, and many more, that it's alright to feel fear, to lean on others when they need to.

"I don't want you to think of me as a victim who needs protecting. But...it's nice to have people who want to even if I don't need it."

[crushed_pearls]

"I could never mistake you for something helpless, love."

(Peters -)

NOT NOW.

Erin pulls away just far enough to give Valdis her best version of eye contact. "But...I am still on the same death march with you, to the versions of ourselves that can be happy. I'll be there when you falter."

[redlightgreenlight]

"You make me happy."

In a different way than with Max, but no less important. Valdis leans forward to press her forehead against Erin's.

"And I can only assume the opposite is also true, because that's the second time you've called me that."

If Erin was hoping she hadn't noticed the first time, well, she had.

[crushed_pearls]

Ah, there's the intense blush on that pale face. Erin can't even hide her expression from Valdis with their heads together like this, but her wings do tighten, hiding them from the world without in a warm embrace.

"...You do. And you frustrate me, and you worry me, and you comfort me, and...and I'm never gonna have something simple, y'know? There's no endgame where I marry a pastor's daughter and raise two point five dogs and an adopted kid, that's just not happening. You've been trying to tell me to keep my distance but..."

A shaky breath. Erin nuzzles her nose against Valdis's. "I don't expect anything back. But I wouldn't trade this life with you in it for any other without."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Well, I'm always going to frustrate you, and I doubt you will ever stop worrying, because I never stop worrying about Max, and there is definitely isn't any future in which we raise half a dog."

Unless the Captain saw fit to create half a dog, but he seems quite averse to creating life that might harm the reality he has created.

"There is never going to be anything simple about loving a non-human who will outlive you in the real world, but that doesn't mean we can't try. As long as we both realize that there will come a day when the Nothing comes for one of us and the one who is left will have to survive despite that."

This is a lie. If someone she loves, Max, Ari, Klaus, Nobunaga, Yato, Erin, were to vanish, she would tear a hole in this reality to get them back and go through anyone who tried to stop her. Because here, coming back is possible.