Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

[serialskiller]

It doesn't respond immediately, and when it does, it's a lateral conversation shift.

"Erin, if Helena ever dies, will you let me into your cabin, so I can be there when she wakes up?"

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's expression goes solemn. "Of course. I'd offer to take the floor so you can have my bed but I legitimately don't think my bed will survive you in its current state, but yes, of course."

[serialskiller]

“The exact logistics aren’t important. I just want to know I can be there for her.” It’s voice is quiet, and it’s almost preemptively ducking away from the next questions, perhaps waiting for teasing.

[crushed_pearls]

"You will be. And if you both go down at the same time catch me waiting up until six to open the door." Erin chews her lip for a moment, tilts her head. Decides to just say it. "Your friendship with her seems to have gotten quite deep quite quickly."

[serialskiller]

“Yes. It has.” It glances away. “She’s. Very nice.”

It doesn’t have the words.

[crushed_pearls]

"Relentlessly kind," Erin agrees. "That poor girl had to bloom in darkness, but oh how she does bloom. When we all get out of here she's gonna grow into something wild and unstoppable, I think."

[serialskiller]

"She might here, if no one stops her. Regardless, I will support her in any way she needs, for as long as she lets me."

It glances up, just a tiny peek, to see Erin's reaction to that.

[crushed_pearls]

That bird-like head tilt; it goes well with an expression of fond curiosity on Erin's face. She voices her thought aloud: "Many might take that kind of statement as something romantic."

[serialskiller]

"Ew." That's a response that comes without any thought at all. "Erin, you know I don't do romance."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin leans back in her chair, newly queen of the mostly-eaten breakfast. "What's romance, to you? Serious question."

[serialskiller]

"It's a human thing, pairing off to...interface. Pairing. Mouth stuff. It's all kind of gross."

Mouth Stuff, the next album coming out from Neil Cicierega.

"I mean, yes, I hold onto Helena, but I don't want...I mean. It's not like that."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin steeples her fingers. "I realize this is going to be rich coming from me of all people, but what if I told you that interfacing is not a required element, merely a culturally assumed one?"

[serialskiller]

The drone still in the air plays a clip of her voice. "Also the damaged elevator with the blood in is relatedddd..."

"You're right, it is very rich, coming from you.

[crushed_pearls]

"Hey! I know! I realize! I am horny as hell, I'm aware, and I don't intend to change that! But! -" Erin raises a finger. "There's many conceptions of love. A lot of humans are like, y'know, straight, romantic, and sexual, but those three things are like separate fucking setting sliders, is the thing. You can be romantic but not sexual; you can be sexual but not romantic, or, as many people do, be kinda sorta one of those things, or, hell, none of 'em. Love without a sexual element is often called Platonic love and don't ask me why it's called that because I will go on a tear about an old dead guy I hate whose one good idea was this one."

[serialskiller]

Plato would go on the same tear if he ever heard his name ascribed to that one.

Murderbot seems to get stuck for a moment. And it's hard to say what part it gets stuck on. At least, unless you know it. It's a solid 37 seconds before it speaks, and that's only one word.

"Love?"

[crushed_pearls]

Erin nods, a ghostly little smile flickering on her lips. "There's a lot of forms of it. Maybe as many as people who feel it. English just doesn't have a lot of good words for it, because this language is a nightmare founded by violent assholes. Four different words for 'disembowel', only one each for 'magic' or 'love'." But she's NOT BITTER. "I'm not trying to define your relationship to Helena or to anyone else, just...opening a door for thought."

[serialskiller]

More hold music playing. It. Doesn't know what to do with any of that.

"Love."

[crushed_pearls]

"...You doin' okay there buddy?"

[serialskiller]

"Yeah, fine," it lied like a liar.

[crushed_pearls]

"You're gonna have to get a lot better at lying to lie to me successfully, SecUnit, but I'll give you a minute." Erin turns her attention to the surviving breakfast on her plate; there will be no survivors.

[serialskiller]

...
...
...
LOADING

"Look, I knew I was capable of being loved because I never had any choice in the matter at all, people were just going to love me because...people. I just. I didn't think. I...mrrrgh."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Yeah, feeling known."

You're not the only person in this conversation who had this realization, SecUnit. And it hurt for Erin too.

[serialskiller]

"I don't know what to do with this."

Because clearly, now that it's realized this, there's supposed to be something to do? Right? Some expectation that it doesn't know how to meet.

[crushed_pearls]

"Haste is your enemy here, buddy. You don't have to do anything. Love's beautiful and powerful but it doesn't have to be acted on; it can be something you keep for yourself. Even if you do decide to act, like...it's not like we have a time limit here. Where's everyone gonna go, Disneyland? We fuckin' live here."

[serialskiller]

"What is Disneyland?"

Irrelevant.

"It's not just Helena that I love, if that's the right word for the feeling. Like, she's special, she's my favorite human, but she's not the only one."