crushed_pearls: (Default)
crushed_pearls ([personal profile] crushed_pearls) wrote2022-09-16 02:28 pm
Entry tags:

Come Sail Away IC Inbox

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."
treadwater: (~ bear back)

[personal profile] treadwater 2022-10-22 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
Pretty much. And...

Okay. Can I say something really, really, really mean?
treadwater: (~ an whole undine)

[personal profile] treadwater 2022-10-22 07:20 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know if I have the energy to both...work on me and try to make things right with her at the same time, and I think I might choose me. At least. Right now.

And I know that's a selfish choice, and I know that's fucked up, and I know that might hurt her. But.
treadwater: (~ oh no)

[personal profile] treadwater 2022-10-22 07:27 am (UTC)(link)
No non-fiction books at all.

And I don't know. Is she trying because she feels like she's fucked up and failed and she wants to not have failed, or is she trying because she wants to help me see who I might become?

I don't know if the latter one is on the table for her. She looked...betrayed, when I told her I wanted an adultier adult. When I said she wasn't the reason the inside of my head is on fire and I want to put it out and figure out who I am without Alchemical Water. She looked like I told her I wanted to find a kitten and drown it in the toilet.
treadwater: (~ thinking)

[personal profile] treadwater 2022-10-22 07:44 am (UTC)(link)
I've seen that happen with someone before. Not a girlfriend, but a friend. And she didn't get angry, she just...pulled away. Still something of an end, though. Just not one we ever shared that we knew about.
treadwater: (~ confident)

[personal profile] treadwater 2022-10-22 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
You don't get to claim responsibility for troubles that you're not actually really the cause of any more than she does. Okay?