crushed_pearls | Come Sail Away IC Inbox

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Come Sail Away IC Inbox

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

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"...I know. And I appreciate you believin' me a lot more than I would getting to try because you didn't, but...mostly I'm trying to be heard rather than get a solution." There's a twinge in her chest; admitting it feels childish somehow, an emotion Erin is trying to push into a toilet because the feeling itself is childish. You're supposed! To talk! To your lovers!

Wait a minute.

"...How exactly did the new guy end up on the lunch menu?"

"He's hot."

And kind, and careful, and sweet, and playful and flirty. All things that she likes and appreciates. He also relates to her in a way Erin and Max can't, he doesn't dwell and sometimes she just wants to move on.

"Since when do you care about hot?" Erin can't help but laugh, the idea is absurd, especially not with the way their near but not completely identical troubles with being perceived had complicated her early relationship to Valdis. "Love, c'mon, spill the tea."

"He's just...I feel things. Different from you or Max. He's forward, yes, but his feelings aren't lustful or entitled. He learns quickly about what I need and adjusts like I've known him far longer than I have. He listens. He doesn't dwell on the past or become worked up over what he learns. He said he'd rather live in the moment with me than worry about everything that came before."

She softens as she speaks, the anxiety over Harvey and the Void fading into the distance.

"He's steady, like you, but in a more gentle way. Like water instead of rock. He's fun to speak to and play with. He doesn't make me feel like I need to hide parts of myself in order to protect him. He's also crazy enough to not be concerned about the fact I could kill him if I wanted to, but you and Max are also like that."

There's a stab of initial jealousy, an echo from Erin's own insecurities, but her hand comes up to the locket, and it dissipates. It's not just the sheer hypocrisy of the feeling, though yes, that. It's that...

...These are words Erin's said before. Words she understands, about how every love is different, and none are interchangeable. The memory of how Valdis does struggle with those lustful feelings, but if she was entirely against them she certainly wouldn't be with Erin or, more to the point, Max, who loves fiercely and truly and so very sexually. The taste of the Glamour in the air, steady and fond, like Valdis is when the two of them are just relaxing with each other.

There's nothing to envy, and nothing to guard. The pain dies before it can truly live.

"...It sounds almost like you've got it kinda bad for this boy," Erin murmurs. "I suppose I'll have to give him the traditional warning."

Max had gotten it when Erin gave her encouragement to woo Crabb and Ylva: requests for threesomes will be met with immediate violence.

Valdis senses the spike of jealousy, but she lets Erin work through it without comment, simply squeezing her hand until she speaks again.

"I don't know...I want to...I'm definitely more open to things than I once was. Partially thanks to you."

Though she hasn't heard of this 'traditional warning.'

"Don't scare him off, Erin."

"Pssh, I didn't scare Max off, Ash will be fine." Erin flashes a feral grin. "Just marking out a personal boundary, I know full well you can handle your own pushy suitors. What would I even threaten in a shovel talk that's scarier?'

"You threatened Max?"

Clearly it didn't bother him, but still. Though Erin's right that Valdis can take care of her own boundaries.

"Ash is very respectful, if you place a boundary, he will honor it."

"Not about you," Erin reassures, Mysteriously. "Ask him about it sometime if you like, mention the carnival, oughta jog his memory. Honestly though...I like what I've seen of Ash, little enough that it is. He's kinda got rich boy energy but the ship will grind that down soon enough."

"Rich maybe, but not spoiled."

He does have that air about him, but she was also rich. Years of building up wealth and carefully moving it to the next persona.

"And I hope the ship doesn't change him too much. I like him as he is."

She knows change is inevitable, and can be good. It has been for Max and so many others.

Erin leans her head over, and rests it on Valdis's shoulder. She feels...warm, inside, and it's nice.

"...Hey. I. Really have that big an influence on you? It's kinda hard to imagine. You're...I dunno...it's felt like being invited to meet someone already there. Someone really great."

Valdis nuzzles Erin's hair.

"Well, when you met me most of my memories still hadn't returned. Now I have my past and some semblance of my present. The future could be anything, which is something I didn't have before."

Eventually she'll have to reconcile the Angel of Death with the Hellhound, but the time hasn't yet come for that.

"...I know you can tell, 'cause you're you and the way you are, but...you've helped me too, y'know." To calm down, to be a bit at peace, to feel safe when she's been scared, to remember the glorious pain of yearning...

A wistful sigh. "I know I can't stay, but...come on down to mine sometime soon when Max and Helena and Security are doin' their thing, yeah? I can tell you entirely too much about New Avalon and the game I'm workin' on for Tayrey and you can bully the hell outta me."

"I will."

Valdis feels it all, and partners should help each other.

"Go easy on Ashley for me."

"I'll try to keep the horror to like five point five Lovecrafts."

"Fair enough, my love."

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