Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"Sounds like you picked up something you want to keep." Erin quirks a little smile, hums a little hum. "...Does it matter if they really happened, do you think? Or does it matter more who was there, and what they did and said?"

[decrypter]

Putting down her water, her eyes close, debating on if she will or won't tell. But...

"Promise this stays between us?"

A much lighter request for a promise than the heart wrenched one that had come to her before.

[crushed_pearls]

"Until, or unless, you release me from my vow," Erin agrees readily. "...Also the sushi really fucking hits after two years in a forest let me tell you."

[decrypter]

"...Security walked into one of the rifts and found me. And spent a couple of years there, until it followed me to the gates of hell and died for that."

It's very, very softly said.

"I have a very confusing set of memories now, along with all the others, to handle."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Security did come back, right?" Sorry Helena she really needs to make absolutely sure about this one.

[decrypter]

"Yes. I was there when it woke back up here."

If it hadn't...she doesn't want to think about it.

"It's doing fine, now."

[crushed_pearls]

There is an extended and audible sigh of relief. "...With so much to keep straight, when you usually have such an orderly mind...it's gotta be rough. Especially to realize that people close to you saw you before you became the you that you are right now. God...if anyone met thirteen year old me..."

She says, unaware that the narrator is working on that right now.

[decrypter]

"...years, Erin. I know you saw it from one end, and I'm seeing it from the other. What am I supposed to say to that?"

It's a great weight to process.

[crushed_pearls]

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to it either," Erin admits. "Part of me wants to suggest writing it down in case you forget later, but...years."

[decrypter]

"I already did that when I was up the entire night waiting for it to come back, when I realized it was dead and it was my fault for bringing it there. I have pages and pages of a life I'm not sure I even lived, but that I remember like ghosts that left impressions in wax. It makes me realize how much changed. What could have changed. What, perhaps, should have, regardless."

A beat.

"I have to apologize to anyone that got dragged into one of those hunting grounds, though."

[crushed_pearls]

"I'm not sure an apology is the balm that wound needs. Anyone with a heart will be worried for you, little bird."

Erin squeezes Helena's hand. "...Life in America is rarely sunny for the blind, even without a clown car full of murderers."

[decrypter]

"I feel like it's my fault that they'll have had to endure that fear, that pain."

She sighs, and squeezes Erin's hand back.

"Goodness. I've been going on and on about myself, and I haven't even asked you how you are, even when you just told me you spent two years away. You're welcome to roundly scold me for the selfishness."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Little bird I can, and will, cuddle you and that is a threat."

[decrypter]

"That doesn't change that I haven't asked you how you're doing after two years in the forest."

[crushed_pearls]

"Like shit!" Erin admits, even as she makes good on her threat with a wing hug. "...Feels like I lost something I didn't even know that I wanted. Happy?"

[decrypter]

"No."

But she's hugging her back, completely accepting any and all cuddles. That's a good way to put it, really.

"But thank you for telling me the truth anyway."

[crushed_pearls]

"Swear to God if I end up running an orphanage when we get out of here..." Erin sighs. "There's nothing for it. I'm just. Tired, and sad. Y'know?"

[decrypter]

Erin will feel the nod against her, the understanding inherent in it. One has to feel what they feel, let the sorrows exist as well as the joys.

"...I know. I know."

She won't try for words of wisdom or anything like it, because she does know a little, from the other end. If somehow, Security had stopped her from answering that letter-

No, she can't go down that path. It's too crushing.

[crushed_pearls]

"Now, little bird...anything in particular happen that you need to talk about?"

The deflection only works for so long Helena.

[decrypter]

She sighs, knowing she's been caught for the time being.

"...All of this makes me think about what if. What if I didn't go to that place. What if I had been stopped? But then I don't want to think about it at all, because I'll just be mourning what I can never have."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Yeah. But, there's also walking out with new insights on what can be, or is, here." Erin sighs, a little wistfully. "Ruby gave me the fucking business for worrying that I might be a bad sister, and...I dunno, maybe it's sticking a little, y'know?"

[decrypter]

"I think you worrying about it is the first sign that you're not."

She says it softly, a little knowingly, but she's not going to harp on the point.

"You can't doubt someone's sincerity when they've spent years with you because you needed them. Let it stick."

[crushed_pearls]

"And you, little bird? Anything good sticking to you?"

(Phrasing.)

Yyyyoooouuuuu have a point but shut the fuck up anyway.

[decrypter]

"You're taking the full walk around the pasture to your point, Erin."

She knows when she's being led around.

[crushed_pearls]

"...Helena, you do remember the prison-gin empathy powers, right? Those ones? The ones we had a whole discussion about? I wasn't dancing around my point, I was trying not to ask directly about what made that sea change in your heart but if you're gonna just say it directly we go to the prison gin hours."