Come Sail Away IC Inbox

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice mail message is in a weary voice: "Erin Peters. If you called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer, I'm dying. If I pick up and someone on your end isn't dying, they will be shortly. Text otherwise."

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"Kay." Erin turns to face Crabb fully, and takes her cigar out of her mouth. "Your 'I'm not attractive, only you will ever want me' routine has started to become an insult to my taste, love. I didn't have prophetic knowledge of how amazing you are when I met you at the gym. I'm not immune to handsome lasses! I freely engage in the hypocrisy of wanting people because they're hot, I just have enough respect for myself to get to know them first. So, either I'm delusional or you're attractive. Pick one."

[pointofhonoria]

"...Christ, you weren't kidding." 'The rude version' is right, but, well, she did tell her to go for it. She finishes the glass off, sets it down, and rubs at her face with her freed hand. "That ain't fair, petal. It ain't— hhhh."

It doesn't feel that simple. It's not that a part of her hasn't been trying to let herself accept this, and maybe she will be a step closer after all this, but it's... complicated. It feels complicated, at least, where maybe it shouldn't.

[crushed_pearls]

"Nuh-uh, Big J the C promised you eternal life, not a fair one. I wanna hear it out your mouth - which is it?"

[pointofhonoria]

"Erin c'mon. Sayin' it isn't gonna make it feel any more true just like that. I know it ain't just you, 'specially after last night," which was technically also today, wow memory time disparity is weird... "arrite? Just— ugh."

She sinks more in her chair, hands both over her face now.

[crushed_pearls]

"Of course it won't," Erin murmurs, her tone gentling. "But y'all are always on me for not being my own friend. You open your mouth to put yourself down so easily. Open it to build yourself up. Be your own friend, my fierce flower."

[pointofhonoria]

There's an aborted sound as she goes to say something and stops herself. It should be easier than this, by now; it's been nearly three years now since she last spent all her time around people who made her feel small, sometimes it's genuinely frustrating that she can't seem to shake it.

"...fine. You ain't delusional." It's still dodging saying the words, but it's... a start.

[crushed_pearls]

This is where Erin would give Crabb a long stare, IF SHE HAD -

Actually.

(Fuck it.)

Erin's Mantle pops and sparks, and she lowers her blindfold to stare at Crabb with big owl eyes.

[pointofhonoria]

It's so sudden it provokes a burst of startled laughter out of Crabb. She pushes herself up a little straighter from where she's slumping and just... blinks at Erin. "Erin what in God's name—"

[crushed_pearls]

"Well that's not the reaction I wanted out of this meaningful glare," Erin says with Exaggerated Huffiness. "Is there something not serious about my large and loving owl eyes?"

Her pupils dilate hugely.

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb snorts and covers her mouth for a second, but amidst the surprised amusement she does sound terribly fond. "You expected me not to be surprised by you suddenly puttin' on bleedin' owl eyes just to give me a look?!"

[crushed_pearls]

"Who would be? Who? Hoo? Hoo?"

[pointofhonoria]

"Erin!" She actually almost chokes on the next burst of laughter, body trying to fold in on itself whilst still being slumped down like she is. She covers her face, shoulders shaking.

[crushed_pearls]

"This stops when you finish the thought you started there out loud, love," Erin promises/warns/threatens.

[pointofhonoria]

"You're a cruel mistress, you are. Arrite, arrite, God—" She groans and forces herself to sit more upright again. "You— you ain't delusional, so I must—" sighs, "—I must be attractive."

And now she's sinking in her chair again. Even lower than before..

[crushed_pearls]

Erin scoots her chair in closer and gently presses her forehead to Crabb's. Her wings fold in to shield her lover from the eyes of the world. "Yeah, you are," Erin murmurs. "My fierce and glorious flower. You've gotta live with yourself every single day and it breaks my heart that you seem to make that unlivable. Be nice to you, yeah?"

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb presses her forehead back against Erin's, nuzzling their noses gently and letting out a slow breath. "M'trying. Things are just—a mess."

Lately more than ever. She's keeping a brave face on about the cracks but there's still a part of her blaming herself for the fact the world seems to be falling apart.

[crushed_pearls]

"They'll always be a mess, my love. That's life." Erin tilts her head up to kiss Crabb's forehead and just holds her softly. "...I know I can't keep you here forever right now but when it's all done for the day I'ma fuckin' cuddle you so god damn hard."

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb huffs a faint laugh, leaning into her. "Y'sure I can't just stay here all day? Sure be bleedin' easier than this conversation..."

You know, like she and Johnny won't be basically cuddling on the couch by the end of the talk because it goes better than fine.

[crushed_pearls]

"Go face the music, my fierce flower."

Crabb gets a kiss for luck.

wrap probably

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb tries to drag out the kiss for as long as is at all reasonable, but eventually she sighs and gets up. "Go ahead and send that text, then."

It'll be fine, she tries to tell herself, and even if she's still panicking right now, at least that will prove to be true.