"...I don't hate her, Erin. I can't. Despite everything, I can't call her a bad person. She still gave me so much."
It's a tangled, winding thing, the thorns and the roses both, sweetness and joy mixed with tears. Helena takes a deep breath, curling both her hands around the cup.
"But...it sunk in after a while that things could be different. While I still remember them being different, because Security was there. And it made me wonder, how much would have changed if I had simply had the strength to do something, say something, alter something." Her fingertips twitch on the cup. "But I didn't. I was weak, and a liar, for I at least contributed, and for some reason no one agrees with me on that."
Security wouldn't let her hate herself for it. Mr. Smith wouldn't let her blame herself. How is she supposed to carry this, if she's not allowed to hold it in her own arms?
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It's a tangled, winding thing, the thorns and the roses both, sweetness and joy mixed with tears. Helena takes a deep breath, curling both her hands around the cup.
"But...it sunk in after a while that things could be different. While I still remember them being different, because Security was there. And it made me wonder, how much would have changed if I had simply had the strength to do something, say something, alter something." Her fingertips twitch on the cup. "But I didn't. I was weak, and a liar, for I at least contributed, and for some reason no one agrees with me on that."
Security wouldn't let her hate herself for it. Mr. Smith wouldn't let her blame herself. How is she supposed to carry this, if she's not allowed to hold it in her own arms?