"There's some part of my organic mind that keeps trying to process it as pain somehow, and I don't entirely understand why, but also ow, fuck. Between that and conversations I've had with Helena, I've decided something needs to shift."

Is this a breakdown or a blooming? A chick must destroy the whole world it's known in order to be born. It's aware it's been at the edge of a thing, but maybe now it's leapt off, just by saying this much to Erin aloud, in words.